Please God... Give Me Strength

"Courage is not the absence of fear... but the willingness to walk through it." (Anonymous)

This is the same quote my mother said to me on my first day of college. I found myself saying this to myself walking into the freshmen class this week.
I was not afraid of them, I was afraid of how they would react with what I was about to reveal to them...
my life.

I am having them work on a project analyzing 13 reasons why they have become the person they are today... trying to take a more positive outlook on the negative experiences and showing how they have made them stronger. To model what I expected from them, and to show how in depth I wanted them to go, I needed to tell them why I am who I am...
I went through things like being tortured by my brother- not literally =)  and growing up with my addicted mother and my single father... and then I got to my grandma, who passed not quite a year ago, and who I was very close to. I had typed this whole presentation without any thought and was like... "YEA, I really like this"... but, when I got in front of the class, I realized how hard it truly was to talk about these experiences that I have gone through. (This is why they will not be presenting). I totally just started crying, not sobbing uncontrollably, but the tears were'a'flowin'. I just said "NEXT SLIDE" when I was finished, and finished my presentation. I did it! and I think they could understand me.

The students finished the class with such great success I was thrilled. It was a breath of fresh air seeing them engaged and thinking. I thought it would take longer than this to be at this level of concentration, but they wanted to learn... about me, about life, about themselves.
This lesson has shown me that teaching is so much more than academics. It is the stuff that is real for these kids that matters.

I have had to be very patient with these kids with enforcing routines and procedures within the classroom so that this level of growth is reachable. I used several things I have learned throughout college: a classroom contract, a silence signal, wait time, clearly displaying expectations for ALL activities, and soo much more. College can help prepare you, it just does not show you exactly how to utilize these tools, and I don't think it should, because it is different for every class.

This class has grown so much in the past two weeks, it is truly incredible. They are showing their true potential and rising to meet expectations. They are teaching me that you can do all that you want to with a class, you just have to create an environment in which this is possible.